I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
