I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
