This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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