who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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