Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
