Buhtt sex?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
