So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He felt like a one man threesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just high enough for therapy.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
