i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
