Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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