If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
