Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
