Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
