Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
