Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
