i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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