i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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