if i can run in heels then i can drive
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am available for nakedness
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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