idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
