I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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