Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
