I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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