so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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