just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
