Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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