I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
