I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
