I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
