Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
