Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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