Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
