Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
