I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
