Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
