I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
