tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
