Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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