she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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