you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
