is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
