Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My pussy is not your playground.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
