If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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