we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
