I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
