Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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