"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
