it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
