you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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