the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
