hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
