i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
