They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
