i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
