I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
