My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's blow job season.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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