dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
