I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Another day, another engagement, another cat
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
