its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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