Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
