Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
