honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
