it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i don't like sucking hair
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
