I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
